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My Word's Worth - choosing gifts for women My Word's Worth: a weekly column by Marylaine Block vol. 3 #21, November 21, 1997 ADVICE FOR DESPERATE MEN The XTC song "The World's Full of Angry Young Men" is running through my head, but the words attached to the music are "The mall's full of desperate men." As it gets closer to Christmas, the population of the mall starts changing. Early on women and teenagers predominate, but over time, there are more and more lost-looking men with that deer-caught-in-the-headlights inward-looking stare--the natural prey of eager shopkeepers who know they can sell these men absolutely anything. The problem is, of course, that when the world's tasks got divvied up by genders, women got to be the gift-givers. By and large this works out quite nicely -- at least until men need to find gifts for women. At this point, many of you are utterly clueless. You sense that whatever you give is freighted with symbolic meaning, but you have no idea what that meaning IS. You strongly suspect this is one of those little tests women put men through that you can't possibly win -- give us nothing at all, and be forever written off as insensitive dolts, or give us the wrong things and be forever written off as insensitive dolts. But we're not actually all THAT hard to please. Here are a few hints. Part of the symbolic value is that you remembered at all. So even if you screw up and select something fairly hopeless (crotchless panties are generally a mistake), we WILL give you credit for trying. After all, we have years of practice thanking little boys who give us footballs for our birthdays -- we understand that he thinks this is the finest gift anyone could ever receive. The malls are trying to sell you stuff for generic females, jewelry and perfume and nice-smelling expensive soaps and moisturizers and such, but she is NOT generic. She is a specific person with specific tastes that, yes, you should have noticed by now (and if you haven't, start looking at her closely). Don't buy earrings for her if you can't remember seeing her wearing earrings. If she does, does she like discreet little buttons, or splashy dangling ones? Show her that you pay attention to her unique interests and preferences. For example, my only real concession to feminine stuff is pretty scarves, fastened with a cat pin; anyone who gave me either a scarf or a cat pin would know that the gift will be appreciated on two levels: I'll wear it and enjoy it, and I'll be pleased that you paid attention to what I like. A gift should also indicate that you pay attention to what she says, or cares about. If she's a save-the-whales sort of person, a little gold whale charm on a chain would be a delightful present. If she couldn't stop looking at the Degas ballerina in the art museum, check out the art museum gift shop for an inexpensive print, or even Degas notecards. Did she cry her way through The Little Mermaid ? You could get her a video of it. Is she never quite warm enough? How about a pretty crocheted shawl to drape around her shoulders? Does she adore Andrew Lloyd Webber? There must be a production of his playing somewhere that you can take her to. A gift doesn't need to be expensive if it conveys the basic message, "I know who you are and I love that in you." Avoid vacuum cleaners and toaster-ovens and sewing machines, no matter how much she may actually need one. What we want is permission to stop being efficient and hardworking for a while and simply feel treasured. (Even the most competent women want to feel protected and taken care of by their menfolk.) If you're a man who understands what clothes look good on her, and you know what size she wears, you can buy her a great outfit. The implied message is "You're a damn good-looking woman, and I love to see you looking well-turned out." Of course, if, like my son, you think an orange shirt with red shorts is a nifty combination, you should avoid this route. One of the nicest gifts is your time. Arrange for someone else to take care of the kids, and take her off somewhere where you can pay uninterrupted attention to her, and she to you. There aren't enough hours in the day for us to do our work, take care of the kids, take care of our own needs, and still keep a relationship fresh. Give her time off from responsibilities and routine, and use the time to renew the romance. And whatever else you give her, add the gift of words. Tell her why you chose it specially for her. You wouldn't believe what a sucker we are for words like "This was so elegant it made me think of you," or "It reminded me of the music we danced to on our first date." If you could live your life again and you'd still fall in love with her, tell her that. Better yet, tell her that in writing. There's a reason we keep old love letters and mementos -- it's so we can read them over and over again when times are tough, and we're not getting through to each other, and we're trying to remember why it was we wanted the relationship to keep going. So go ahead, guys. Venture out into the cold and brave the alien territory of the shopping malls and exquisite little boutiques. All you have to do is remember who she is and what you love about her and what she cares about (besides you). Remember: Earth girls are easy. You get points for trying. And with these helpful hints in mind, you might pass the test this time around. Heck, you might even get an A. My Word's Worth Archive Current column Marylaine.com/ home to all my other writing NOTE: My thinking is always a work in progress. You could mentally insert all my columns in between these two sentences: "This is something I've been thinking about," and "Does this make any sense to you?" I welcome your thoughts. Please send your comments about these columns to: marylaine at netexpress.net. Since I've written a lot of these, some of them many years ago, help me out by telling me which column you're referring to. I'll write columns here whenever I really want to share an idea with you and can find time to write them . If you want to be notified when a new one is up, send me an e-mail and include "My Word's Worth" in the subject line.

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Listmania! Great gifts for pirate lovers Your Store See All 31 Product Categories   Your Account | Cart | Wish List | Help Improve Your Recommendations | Your Amazon Home | Your Profile | Learn More Search Amazon.com Books Popular Music Music Downloads Classical Music DVD VHS Apparel Yellow Pages Restaurants Movie Showtimes Toys Baby Computers Video Games Electronics Camera & Photo Software Tools & Hardware Office Products Magazines Sports & Outdoors Outdoor Living Kitchen Jewelry & Watches Beauty Gourmet Food Beta Musical Instruments Health/Personal Care Travel Cell Phones & Service Outlet Auctions zShops Everything Else Scientific Supplies Medical Supplies Indust. Supplies Automotive Home Furnishings Lifestyle Pet Toys Arts & Hobbies Web Search Listmania! Great gifts for pirate lovers by Maxine Orlando , Buccanneer Lass E-mail this list to a friend 1. Muppet Treasure Island VHS ~ Tim Curry (VHS Tape) Average Customer Review: Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Used & new from $1.20 Maxine Orlando's comments: Puppets make fine swabbies! 2. Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (2-Disc Collector's Edition) DVD ~ Johnny Depp (DVD) Average Customer Review: List Price: $19.99 Buy new : $14.99 You Save : $5.00(25%) Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Used & new from $5.83 Maxine Orlando's comments: But why is the rum gone? 3. Hook DVD ~ Dustin Hoffman (DVD) Average Customer Review: List Price: $14.94 Buy new : $11.21 You Save : $3.73(25%) Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Used & new from $7.29 Maxine Orlando's comments: One word. Rufio. 4. Orion Brass Classic 12x30 Brass Hand Telescope Offered by: Orion Telescopes Buy new : $29.95 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Maxine Orlando's comments: Land Ho! 5. Annin - Jolly Roger Flag - 12'' x 18'' (Misc.) Offered by: eAngler List Price: $14.99 Buy new : $9.99 You Save : $5.00 (33%) from $9.99 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Used & new from $9.99 Maxine Orlando's comments: Aye! Fly ye true colours! 6. Tattered Pirate Hat by Elope Inc. (Toy) Offered by: Imaginarium Buy new : $24.99 Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Maxine Orlando's comments: Already looks sea-wind tattered! 7. Pirate Ship Sticker Activity Book by Steven James Petruccio (Paperback) Average Customer Review: List Price: $1.50 Buy new : $1.50 + $1.99 sourcing fee Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Used & new from $1.01 Maxine Orlando's comments: To entertain on those long voyages! 8. Escape From Monkey Island by Lucasarts Entertainment (CD-ROM) Average Customer Review: Availability: Currently unavailable Used & new from $7.50 Maxine Orlando's comments: When you're stock on the rock! This game here's a riot! 9. Sid Meier's Pirates! [CD] by Atari (CD-ROM) Average Customer Review: Offered by: J&R Music and Computer World List Price: $29.99 Buy new : $26.88 You Save : $3.11 (10%) Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Used & new from $26.88 Maxine Orlando's comments: Spankin'-New, Award-Winnin', Swash-bucklin', Pirate Game! 10. Pirate Skull Women's Raglan Cap Sleeve Offered by: Bang-On from $24.95 Availability: Usually ships in 1 to 2 business days Maxine Orlando's comments: A classic tee for the pirate lass 11. Pirates cooler than Ninjas Ringer Offered by: J!NX from $17.95 - $18.95 Availability: Usually ships in 1 to 2 business days Maxine Orlando's comments: We sure are! 12. Sea Songs & Shanties ~ Various Artists - International - Europe - Celtic/British Isles (Audio CD) Average Customer Review: List Price: $19.98 Buy new : $19.98 Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Used & new from $12.40 Maxine Orlando's comments: Life is nothing with out a little music! Learn all your favourite tunes! (And really bad eggs...) 13. French Pirate Pistol Replica Availability: This item is currently not available. Maxine Orlando's comments: Go ahead, commendeer a ship! 14. Playmobil Pirate Ship #3286 by Playmobil USA Inc (Toy) Average Customer Review: Offered by: Imaginarium Buy new : $89.99 Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Maxine Orlando's comments: Yo-ho-ho! Playmobil is fun for scallywags young and old! 15. Pirate Ship Bath Toy by TOMY (Toy) Average Customer Review: Offered by: Imaginarium Buy new : $19.99 Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Maxine Orlando's comments: For bathers of all ages! 16. Eyewitness: Pirate (Eyewitness Books) by DK Publishing (Library Binding) Average Customer Review: Availability: Currently unavailable Maxine Orlando's comments: This book be very informative me hearty! 17. Treasure Island (Scribner Classics) by Robert Louis Stevenson, N.C. Wyeth (Illustrator) (Hardcover) Average Customer Review: List Price: $28.00 Buy new : $17.64 You Save : $10.36(37%) Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Used & new from $0.94 Maxine Orlando's comments: Even gentlemen o' fortune enjoy a good read 18. Pirates VHS (VHS Tape) Average Customer Review: List Price: $29.95 Buy new : $28.45 You Save : $1.50(5%) Availability: Special Order Maxine Orlando's comments: A fine documentary for all you landlubbers 19. Eye Patch - Black Unknown (Health and Beauty) Offered by: Maxi-Aids Buy new : $2.95 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Maxine Orlando's comments: No one will know if you've really lost an eye or not! 20. PIRATES Percale FLT SHT 01 TW -twin TW MULTI Offered by: The Company Store Buy new : $19.00 Availability: Usually ships in 2-3 business days Maxine Orlando's comments: Pirate bedding for the Captain's quarters! 21. Under the Black Flag: The Romance and the Reality of Life among the Pirates by David Cordingly (Paperback) Average Customer Review: List Price: $14.00 Buy new : $10.50 You Save : $3.50(25%) Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Used & new from $5.00 Maxine Orlando's comments: Find out the TRUTH behind us pirates! 22. Do Pirates Take Baths? by Kathy Tucker, Nadine Bernard Westcott (Illustrator) (Paperback- September 1997) Average Customer Review: List Price: $6.95 Buy new : $6.25 You Save : $0.70(10%) Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Used & new from $2.85 Maxine Orlando's comments: This one doesn't! Create your own list! See the Best Lists Top 100 Listmania lists Search Listmania lists More about Maxine Orlando Related Listmania! Add your list Books about Pirates : A list by Eddie Chopsaw, Freemason Picture books featuring pirates : A list by CMBohn, Book lover Great reads on pirates and privateers : A list by Scott Chamberlain, Latin American historian Pirates, plain & simple : A list by C.J.A., captain of a pirate crew Add your list Related So You'd Like to... Create a guide watch my favorite actors in their best movies : A guide by Monika, an average person See Men That Carry the Movie : A guide by ilovemydog, Movie Obessed Sail with rip-roaring pirates : A guide by Lisa Jensen, Movie critic & pirate novelist Build an Impressive DVD Collection : A guide by Chris McGarrity, DVD Collector have a DVD collection II : A guide by cjovignot, Entrepreneur get lost in a good story : A guide by Abagail Bloodworth, Bookworm n stuff Sing Sea Chanteys (and understand them) : A guide by Anitra Freeman, Chanteyfan make bath-time FUN for your kids!! : A guide by Book Lover, mom, lover of baths and books Create a guide Where's My Stuff? • Track your recent orders . • View or change your orders in Your Account . Shipping & Returns • See our shipping rates & policies . • Return an item (here's our Returns Policy ). Need Help? • Forgot your password? Click here . • Redeem or buy a gift certificate. • Visit our Help department . 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