birthday present." He wouldn't

My Best Birthday Present - Timothy Leary My Best Birthday Present I haven't celebratedmy birthday in decades. Sure, when you're a kid it's exciting to add ayear to your age, have your parents gather your friends, blow out the candles,and get presents, but today I turn 49 and the last thing on earth I feellike doing is celebrating, much less blowing out a fire. Nothing very specialabout November 10th other than it is the day that Stanley found Livingston.Okay, I wouldn't mind a present or two, but that's more a matter of actuallyneeding stuff than thinking I deserve any sort of reward just for havingsurvived another year. I've always felt it was a wee bit egomaniacal tothrow yourself a big birthday party. Nothing wrong with celebrating others,but when it comes to celebrating yourself, it shouldn't be in public. Fifteen years ago todayit was also my birthday and, as normal, I was doing what I always do, whatI still do, what I'm doing right now, writing at my computer, with absolutelyno plans for the day. When you don't have a plan, there's nothing to deviatefrom. You can do whatever you want without fear of failure because howcan you fail when you don't have any goal in mind? Whatever happens, happens,and it's good or bad on its own terms. The higher you get your hopes up,the further you have to fall, so I never count on anything. If somethingbad happens, too bad. If something good happens, it's a gift. There was a knock atthe door. I opened it and there was Timothy Leary who said "Hi, I'm yourbirthday present." He wouldn't explain how or why this came to be, or whoin particular was bestowing him upon me. He was simply there, and he wouldhang out for at least an hour. All he would tell me was that he was toldI was someone he should meet. Whenever you meet someonefamous in a personal situation, it's hard to know how to behave, particularlyif they're enormous media stars. After all, you've spent hours gazing atthem, thinking about them, perhaps days or weeks staring at their image.Imagine the hundreds of hours you've spent with certain stars broadcastregularly into your living room. They feel like a friend, like you actuallyknow them. They're not and you don't, but it's a hard feeling to shakewhen they're standing right in front of you, coming into your house, sittingon your sofa, checking the place out while waiting for you to bring thema drink. No matter how many memories you have of them, they have none ofyou. To them, you are a total stranger. Treat them like a fan would andyou risk becoming part of their teeming crowd of lookie loos. Treat themlike you don't know who they are and they could get insulted. No way tomake a friend. Friendships deserve an even playing field, so it's hardto think of yourself as the friend of a celebrity until they know as muchabout you as you know about them. Which is why celebrities are SO interestedwhen you interrupt them somewhere in public and tell them about your uncleSid's gall bladder operation. I wanted to be friendswith Timothy Leary so he had a hell of a lot of catching up to do becausehe knew nothing about me and I knew a lot about him, or at least I thoughtI did. I shifted into show-and-tell mode, whipping out a book of Polaroidsfor him to peruse. He enjoyed my madness immensely and I proceeded to tellhim something I'm sure he heard a million times. My life was profoundlychanged by his research into psychedelia, combined with reading Tom Wolfe's"The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test," the Beatles, and meeting a guy namedMario in 1970 who claimed to be the husband of the actual Alice that ArloGuthrie sang about but who supported his acting habit by selling acid atLee Strasberg's studio where I happened to be studying at the time. But I digress. Thefirst and foremost influence that Timothy Leary had upon me was my art,which simply didn't exist. Before my first acid trip, I wasn't an artist.I had never played guitar, had certainly never created any impressionism,and hadn't written a single word other than school assignments. Maybe Iwould have discovered these talents on my own, but if my Polaroids remindyou of acid flashbacks, welcome to the club. On acid, what I do to my Polaroids,you can do to reality. Move it around a little. Make big things look small,small things look big, marvel at the infinite depths you're capable ofperceiving, as though reality were a 3D comic book and for the first timeyou were looking at it with the red-and-blue glasses. Pre-acid, I was onlyinterested in being an actor, moving to New York to study with Lee Strasberg,and getting in a Broadway play. On acid, I actually attempted to give aperformance from Spoon River Anthology in front of the man himself, a performancehe declared "interesting," a performance that convinced me that actingwas a very strange profession. While personally communicating with theinfinite miracles of the universe, I had a very hard time convincing myselfthat the most important thing I could be doing was pretending to be a fictionalcharacter while reciting dialogue written by a writer I'd never met. Post-acidI walked home from the Village to my boarding house at 39th and Park, pickedup my roommate's guitar and started playing. It wasn't long before I wasa better guitar player than actor, and I ended up composing music for severaloff-Broadway shows. Way off Broadway. The Company Theater at La Cienegaand Pico in Los Angeles to be precise. Other acid trips wereless eventful and I stopped taking it, but not before playing with my firstSX-70 Polaroid camera and discovering I didn't need acid to change realityto my own specifications. We talked and talked.He wasn't a drug addled guru and I wasn't an acid burnout. He was extremelyintelligent. My vision of Leary had been fogged by his media image, andI had forgotten that he was a Harvard professor. Luckily, some others forgottoo and that's how he escaped from prison. The most amazing story he toldme was this one... When he was bustedby the Feds for possession of one single joint of pot and sentenced to20 years in a Federal penitentiary, the prison officials did what theyalways did with new prisoners, they gave him a psychological test to determinewhether he would go to a minimum or maximum security prison. He passedthe test with flying colors and was sent to minimum security where he promptlyescaped. What the officials didn't know was that Leary himself wrote thepsychological test for the Federal prison system when still at Harvard,so he knew exactly what answers to give. After a couple hours,my birthday present had to leave, but in his new life as Hollywood gadflyI kept running into him over the years at video shows and art galleries.I'm glad he lived long enough to experience the Internet, and if you haven'tseen his site, it's still up at http://leary.com/ and well worth a peek. Excuse me, there'sthe door. Emulsional Problems

Wedding Gift Registry: Charity

CBS News | Wedding Gift Registry: Charity | August 5, 2005 13:00:24 SEARCH: CBSNews.com The Web Home U.S. World Politics SciTech Health Entertainment Business Opinion Sports FREE CBS News Video August 5, 2005 13:00:24 Living HealthWatch Leisure Series The Sat. Early Show Contributors • Section Front E-mail This Story Printable Version Wedding Gift Registry: Charity NEW YORK, Aug. 5, 2005 Charitable Couples Aakash Thakkar and Christina Giallourakis (Photo: CBS/The Early Show) (CBS) The latest request at many weddings these days hasn't been for presents at all. With the average ages of brides and grooms today at 27 and 29 respectively, many have all the dishes and bedding they need. So instead of asking for china and crystal, The Early Show contributor Laurie Hibberd reports, they're asking their guests to donate to charity. When Christina Giallourakis and Aakash Thakkar got married this spring, they were actually excited that half of their wedding guests did not buy them gifts. Thakkar explains, "We had sort of tried to, in planning for our wedding, to sort of get the basics that we need. Sure, maybe we didn't have sort of all the toasters and silverware and plates, et cetera, that one might need. But I think, our general thought was we could buy that stuff along the way." Instead, this Washington, D.C., couple asked their friends and family to help start a scholarship fund at Thakkar's high school alma mater. He says, "The thought was to start a scholarship that would be perpetual, and would allow a disadvantaged child in the Washington, D.C., area to be able to go to St. John's College High School." And they're not the only ones to forgo presents for charity. The trend has grown in the last few years, with a number of high-profile celebrity couples, including Billy Joel and his wife, Katie, setting the example. "I don't think we ever considered asking our friends to buy us gifts," Katie Joel says. "My husband and I were really on the same page when it came to this issue. We wanted to have charity donations for the wedding from the beginning. I got a lot of feedback from different friends saying, 'It's great that you chose to give to charities, instead of asking for gifts. We don't want to buy you a coffee pot'." Kara Corridan, executive editor of Modern Bride magazine, notes, "Over the past few years, couples may donate the unused food from their reception to a local food bank, or they'll print their invitations and their stationery on recycled paper. Or instead of giving favors to guests, they'll tell them that they made a donation to their favorite charity." Bethany Robertson is the executive director of the I Do Foundation , a non-profit organization that helps couples incorporate charity into their big day. Roberts says, "We have seen a phenomenal increase in the number of couples who are participating. In 2004, we had about 20,000 couples in the program. And this year, we're on track to have over 200,000 couples choose a charity through either the I Do Foundation or one of our partners. This is money that did not currently or before exists in the charitable pipeline. This is money that was being spent on cake toppers and garter belts. Now, it's being used for children's health or for community development, things like that. I kind of think of it as icing on the cake, really." Experts say it makes sense that this trend is on the rise with couples waiting longer - and until they're older - before walking down the aisle. Corridan says, "I think now because we have more couples who have been living together before they get married, they literally just don't need the stuff that would end up on a traditional registry, or they may live separately, and so, they might end up with two sets of everything going in to setting up their home." For couples like Christina Giallourakis and Aakash Thakkar, who are tying charitable giving into the day they tie the knot, they say it makes all the difference. "I think it made our wedding better," Giallourakis says. "There was that much more interaction with all of our guests before the wedding. It wasn't they just went to a Web site and bought a gift and that was it. It was: How's the fund doing? Where are you up to now?" And Robertson is hoping that more and more people think of those less fortunate while planning for their own futures. She says, "The I Do Foundation's vision is really that in 10 years, when someone comes back from a wedding, people will say, 'What did the bridesmaids' dresses look like? Who was the best man? And what was the couple's charity?'" If you're wondering how much money can actually be raised like this, so far Giallourakis and Thakkar's scholarship fund has raised about $8,000. What's This? MMV, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. The Rita Exodus Texas Gov. Reverses Southbound Interstate Lanes To Aid Evacuations • Passengers Watched Drama Unfold • New Orleans: New Flood Risk • Democrats Split On Roberts Wedding Gift Registry: Charity What More Engaged Couples Are Asking Of Wedding Guests • 'Jaws' Set To Scare Anew • Getting These Blues Can Help • Trend Report: Bright Ideas • Leo DiCaprio On 'The Aviator' Back To Top Bios | Contact Info Help | Advertise | Contact Us | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | CBS News Bios | CBS.com | CBS SportsLine.com | Internships ©MMV, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. Love Is In The Air Here are some showy proposals and weddings that got attention. Celebrity Circuit Hollywood's elite turns up at Toronto Film Festival This Is His Life A look at award-winning "Piano Man" Billy Joel. Video Instead of registering for wedding presents, many couples are asking for donations to charity. The Early Show's Laurie Hibberd reports on this rising trend. Story Piano Man A Married Man Again Link I Do Foundation - Web site Link The Wedding Salon - Web site Link American Cancer Society's Wedding Scroll Program Link Modern Bride Magazine Sign up: E-Mail Alerts RSS Feeds Podcasts Contributors Bobby Flay Susan Koeppen Emily Senay Minna Lessig Steve Hartman Danny Lipford Debbye Turner Bob Vila -- Laurie Hibberd Colin Cowie Dayle Haddon -- Christy Ferer Tracy Smith Ray Martin Charlie Dimmock Regina Lewis Melinda Murphy Martha Stewart -- Face The Nation CBS Morning News Up To The Minute -- close [x]

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