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My Word's Worth - choosing gifts for women My Word's Worth: a weekly column by Marylaine Block vol. 3 #21, November 21, 1997 ADVICE FOR DESPERATE MEN The XTC song "The World's Full of Angry Young Men" is running through my head, but the words attached to the music are "The mall's full of desperate men." As it gets closer to Christmas, the population of the mall starts changing. Early on women and teenagers predominate, but over time, there are more and more lost-looking men with that deer-caught-in-the-headlights inward-looking stare--the natural prey of eager shopkeepers who know they can sell these men absolutely anything. The problem is, of course, that when the world's tasks got divvied up by genders, women got to be the gift-givers. By and large this works out quite nicely -- at least until men need to find gifts for women. At this point, many of you are utterly clueless. You sense that whatever you give is freighted with symbolic meaning, but you have no idea what that meaning IS. You strongly suspect this is one of those little tests women put men through that you can't possibly win -- give us nothing at all, and be forever written off as insensitive dolts, or give us the wrong things and be forever written off as insensitive dolts. But we're not actually all THAT hard to please. Here are a few hints. Part of the symbolic value is that you remembered at all. So even if you screw up and select something fairly hopeless (crotchless panties are generally a mistake), we WILL give you credit for trying. After all, we have years of practice thanking little boys who give us footballs for our birthdays -- we understand that he thinks this is the finest gift anyone could ever receive. The malls are trying to sell you stuff for generic females, jewelry and perfume and nice-smelling expensive soaps and moisturizers and such, but she is NOT generic. She is a specific person with specific tastes that, yes, you should have noticed by now (and if you haven't, start looking at her closely). Don't buy earrings for her if you can't remember seeing her wearing earrings. If she does, does she like discreet little buttons, or splashy dangling ones? Show her that you pay attention to her unique interests and preferences. For example, my only real concession to feminine stuff is pretty scarves, fastened with a cat pin; anyone who gave me either a scarf or a cat pin would know that the gift will be appreciated on two levels: I'll wear it and enjoy it, and I'll be pleased that you paid attention to what I like. A gift should also indicate that you pay attention to what she says, or cares about. If she's a save-the-whales sort of person, a little gold whale charm on a chain would be a delightful present. If she couldn't stop looking at the Degas ballerina in the art museum, check out the art museum gift shop for an inexpensive print, or even Degas notecards. Did she cry her way through The Little Mermaid ? You could get her a video of it. Is she never quite warm enough? How about a pretty crocheted shawl to drape around her shoulders? Does she adore Andrew Lloyd Webber? There must be a production of his playing somewhere that you can take her to. A gift doesn't need to be expensive if it conveys the basic message, "I know who you are and I love that in you." Avoid vacuum cleaners and toaster-ovens and sewing machines, no matter how much she may actually need one. What we want is permission to stop being efficient and hardworking for a while and simply feel treasured. (Even the most competent women want to feel protected and taken care of by their menfolk.) If you're a man who understands what clothes look good on her, and you know what size she wears, you can buy her a great outfit. The implied message is "You're a damn good-looking woman, and I love to see you looking well-turned out." Of course, if, like my son, you think an orange shirt with red shorts is a nifty combination, you should avoid this route. One of the nicest gifts is your time. Arrange for someone else to take care of the kids, and take her off somewhere where you can pay uninterrupted attention to her, and she to you. There aren't enough hours in the day for us to do our work, take care of the kids, take care of our own needs, and still keep a relationship fresh. Give her time off from responsibilities and routine, and use the time to renew the romance. And whatever else you give her, add the gift of words. Tell her why you chose it specially for her. You wouldn't believe what a sucker we are for words like "This was so elegant it made me think of you," or "It reminded me of the music we danced to on our first date." If you could live your life again and you'd still fall in love with her, tell her that. Better yet, tell her that in writing. There's a reason we keep old love letters and mementos -- it's so we can read them over and over again when times are tough, and we're not getting through to each other, and we're trying to remember why it was we wanted the relationship to keep going. So go ahead, guys. Venture out into the cold and brave the alien territory of the shopping malls and exquisite little boutiques. All you have to do is remember who she is and what you love about her and what she cares about (besides you). Remember: Earth girls are easy. You get points for trying. And with these helpful hints in mind, you might pass the test this time around. Heck, you might even get an A. My Word's Worth Archive Current column Marylaine.com/ home to all my other writing NOTE: My thinking is always a work in progress. You could mentally insert all my columns in between these two sentences: "This is something I've been thinking about," and "Does this make any sense to you?" I welcome your thoughts. Please send your comments about these columns to: marylaine at netexpress.net. Since I've written a lot of these, some of them many years ago, help me out by telling me which column you're referring to. I'll write columns here whenever I really want to share an idea with you and can find time to write them . If you want to be notified when a new one is up, send me an e-mail and include "My Word's Worth" in the subject line.

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Amazon.com: DVD: American Wedding Limited Edition Gift Set (Widescreen Extended Unrated Party Edition) (2003) Your Store DVD See All 31 Product Categories   Your Account | Cart | Wish List | Help Advanced Search | Browse Genres | Top Sellers | New & Future Releases | Television Central | DVD Essentials | Blowout DVDs | Movie Showtimes | Used DVDs Search Amazon.com DVD Used DVDs VHS DVD & VHS Movie Showtimes Advanced Search Web Search Join Amazon Prime and ship Two-Day for free and Overnight for $3.99. Already a member? Sign in . DVD INFORMATION Explore This DVD buying info technical information editorial reviews customer reviews RATE THIS DVD I dislike it I love it! 1 2 3 4 5 Edit your ratings Favorite Magazines! Explore our new Magazine Subscriptions store . Visit the Music Store American Wedding [Soundtrack] ~ Various Artists Save 43% on Remington Shaver Don't miss out on this incredible price reduction on the Remington Titanium Ultra Men'sShaver , now only $39.99. Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering. A9.com users save 1.57% on Amazon. Learn how . 85 used & new from $12.83 Have one to sell? Don't have one? We'll set one up for you. American Wedding Limited Edition Gift Set (Widescreen Extended Unrated Party Edition) (2003) see larger picture List Price: $39.98 Price: $35.98 and this item ships for FREE with Super Saver Shipping . See details . You Save: $4.00 (10%) Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours Only 1 left in stock--order soon (more on the way). 85 used & new from $12.83 Edition: See more product details Better Together Buy this DVD with American Pie 2 (Widescreen Unrated Collector's Edi... DVD ~ Jason Biggstoday! Total List Price : $59.96 Buy Together Today: $51.96 Customers who bought this DVD also bought: DVDs from The American Pie Series . Road Trip (Unrated Edition) DVD ~ Breckin Meyer Eurotrip (Unrated Widescreen Edition) DVD ~ Scott Mechlowicz Old School (Widescreen Unrated Edition) DVD ~ Luke Wilson Explore Similar Items : 20 in DVD , and 4 in Music Product Details Starring : Jason Biggs , Seann William Scott , See more Director: Jesse Dylan Encoding: Region 1 ( U.S. and Canada only. This DVD will probably NOT be viewable in other countries. Read more about DVD formats .) Format: Color, Closed-captioned, Widescreen, Dolby Rated: Unrated Studio: Universal Studios DVD Release Date: January 2, 2004 Run Time: 96 DVD Features: Number of discs: 2 From IMDb: Quotes & Trivia ASIN: B0000DCGT6 Other Formats: VHS , VHS subtitled in Spanish , DVD widescreen , DVD , DVD , DVD widescreen Average Customer Review: Based on 176 reviews. Write a review . Amazon.com Sales Rank: #35,332 in DVD Click here for more technical details about this edition... Editorial Reviews Amazon.com The producers of the American Pie movies pushed their luck with a third slice of their lucrative raunchy comedy franchise, and American Wedding cooked up surprisingly well. It's the sourest serving of Pie , with half of the original cast missing, and there's something undeniably desperate about comedic highlights (involving dog poop, a lusty old lady, two strippers to offset the absence of Shannon Elizabeth, and the ill-advised use of a trimming razor) that arise more from obligation than inspiration, on the assumption that another penile mishap is guaranteed to please. And yet, that's just what this movie does for devoted Pie -munchers: It gives 'em what they want, especially when the notorious Stifler (Seann William Scott) nearly ruins the frantic nuptials of Jim (Jason Biggs) and his band-camping sweetheart Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). Eugene Levy and Eddie Kaye Thomas also return for some reliable comic relief, but the one who's laughing most is three-time Pie writer Adam Herz--laughing loudly and often, all the way to the bank. --Jeff Shannon --This text refers to the Theatrical Release edition. Spotlight Reviews (What's this?) Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers. 2 of 13 people found the following review helpful: No Wonder Marriage Never Appealed To Me! , August 12, 2004 Reviewer: V. Marshall (North Fork, CA USA)- See all my reviews After watching this movie I am even more convinced that the original "American Pie" film was a fluke....it worked....the other's in the series suffer from trying way too hard. This film has all of the usual actors in their roles with Jason Biggs and Alyson Hannigan on their way to the altar. So while the women plan a wedding the "men" run around town still in search of sexual pleasure in all of its most inane of forms. Stifler (Sean William Scott) is full of his typical gross antics, this time with dogs, dog waste and a focus upon the only thing he seems capable of understanding.....sex. While most of the silliness and surprise of the original "Pie" film worked that same vulgar effort misses sorely in this film, basically just grossing people out with the worst of gags and a really stupid and entirely gratuitous T&A scene that could have easily been thrown on the editing floor. The filmmakers were smart enough to stay with Eugene Levy, Molly Cheek, Fred Willard and Deborah Rush as the parents who birthed all of these nincompoops! The humor found in the older actors is the only redeeming quality of this movie. Maybe on the next "American Divorce," something will change! --This text refers to the DVD edition Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 4 of 4 people found the following review helpful: A Lot Twisted and Really Funny , January 9, 2004 Reviewer: Lonnie E. Holder "What! Me worry?" (Sullivan, Illinois United States)- See all my reviews I really should dislike this movie, because the comedy is even more disgusting and base than the previous movies in this series, but when the movie is funny, it's hilarious, and I couldn't stop laughing. Be warned, however, that much of the humor comes from gross situations. In this edition, Jim Levinstein (Jason Biggs) asks Michelle Flaherty (Alysson Hannigan) to marry him. The big moment is to happen in a very nice restaurant. Jim hints that he wants to ask Michelle a very important question, and his hinting about is misinterpreted by Michelle, who crawls under the table to do what she thinks Jim wants. In the mean time, Jim's dad, played by SCTV alumni Joe Levy, shows up and sits in Michelle's chair, unaware that she is under the table. Michelle goes unnoticed until Jim's dad mentions the wedding proposal, which causes Michelle to bump the underside of the table. Jim jumps up, his pants are down, and it's embarrassment and pandemonium. As funny as this scene is, it gets better, or worse, depending on how you look at it, from there. The movie ends up being a series of gags from beginning to end, that are both funny and often disgusting. Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) is often involved in many of these scenes. In one scene Steve and Jim are in the library with a dog when an accident with a cake happens. When Jim's dad opens the library door to bring in Michelle's parents, Steve and Jim appear to be in a very bizarre position with respect to the dog. You'll have to see this one to understand it or believe it. There are another pair of scenes that are related involving a gay bar, a bachelor party, with Stifler involved, of course, and Michelle's parents. While not every moment of these scenes are funny, they are in several places, and I found myself laughing all the way through the scene where Jim is supposed to be having dinner at home with Michelle's parents. Stifler manages to get himself invited to the wedding, and even manages to convince Michelle's mother to let him carry the wedding ring. Unfortunately Stifler manages to lose the ring, which a small dog then eats. How Stifler gets the ring back is simultaneously funny and gross. While Stifler acts like the jerk he is for much of the movie, near the end we see Stifler make a mistake, and then pull out the stops to correct his error. For just a moment we get to see Stifler actually act like a human, and the movie turns out all right. I watched many of the extra features on the DVD. The two features I thought were the best were the deleted scenes and the outtakes. Watch them after seeing the movie. I gave this movie three stars even though it was a laugh-fest all the way through. Much of the humor is gross and disgusting, and the situations used to get the laughs are totally unrealistic and bizarre (well, none of these have ever happened to anyone I know). If you enjoyed the first two "American Pie" movies, you'll enjoy this one as well. Definitely not a family movie and many adults will find portions of the movie a bit too bizarre to be enjoyable. However, for those who like Mad Magazine and can handle gross jokes, this movie is a blast. --This text refers to the DVD edition Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) All Customer Reviews Average Customer Review: Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers. 0 of 1 people found the following review helpful: Where Is Shannon Elizabeth, Mena Suvari And Tara Reid??? , July 31, 2005 Reviewer: John Baranyai "Book Nerd And Ex High School Geek Member Of The Chess Club" - See all my reviews This is the third sorry instalment of this series in which all of the good looking women in the previous two movies are gone. All we are left with is a surgically enhanced topless stripper played by the ex wife of one of those Beverly Hills 90210 brats. This movie is NOT funny and the gags either fall flat or disgust you.After you watch this movie you will be left wondering how on Earth Finch manages to hold his breath underwater for the seven minutes (on average I have read) required to keep Mrs. Stiffler happy? --This text refers to the DVD edition Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 'American Wedding'(Universal Studio)Running time:96 minutes 3 1/2 stars , July 31, 2005 Reviewer: Mike Reed (USA)- See all my reviews Review #172.Good comedy sequel to 'American Pie 2'.Many hilarious twists and turns here.The fun starts when Jim Levenstein(Jason Biggs)asks his girl friend Michelle Flaherty(Alyson Hannigan)to marry him.As most of you remember,the two met up at band camp.Wise-ass Steve Stifler(Seann William Scott)tries(and succeeds)to impress the heck out of Michelle's parents and younger sister.Most memorable scene is when Stifner and the gang show up in Chicago,unknowingly at a gay bar where he ends up having a 'dance off' with bar patron(Brad Hammer).Another one is where 'ol Stifner winds up eating a piece of dog poop while he avoids Michelle's mother finding out that the item he was holding was NOT a bar of chocolate.One more:when 'ol Stifner is tricked into 'personally servicing' Jim's 80 year-old grandma.Outrageously funny!Worth watching. --This text refers to the DVD edition Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) A solid end to one of the funniest film franchises in recent years. , July 31, 2005 Reviewer: thedudeman69 "thedudeman69" (Powder Springs, GA)- See all my reviews American Pie has had the akward teenagers getting laid for the very first time. Now, they are all grown up and they all have their own jobs and are going to other schools. Jim then announces that he is planning to marry Michelle and then the gang comes together for the very last time, with the exception of Stifler. Stifler doesn't know that he isn't invited and goes around having the thought that he is involved in the wedding. Jim cannot have the words to tell him that Stifler actually ends up saving the wedding in spots and becomes a unlikely hero and the book closes on the American Pie saga. When I first heard that there was going to be a third American Pie, I had high expectations. My expectations were met with this hilarous film that closes out the film triliogy. But, I was suprised that the gang was cut in half and alot of the original cast didn't return for the third one. But, they managed to keep the best parts about the films. I thought that it was solid comedy at its best. It is dirtier, filthier, and full of cuss words. It's what made it very good. Sean Willam Scott basically carried the whole film on his shoulders and made the most laughs in the film. His character basically stole every scene that he was in. He made me and everbody laugh uproariously. Stifler was given the whole movie to shine and he took that chance and made one of the most hilarous comedic performances in recent history. He can really carry a film but was never given a chance to, up until now. In closing, American Pie has made us laugh with the famous Jim having intercourse with the pie and having sex for the first time. The third film closes out the series with a bang and makes us rememeber what it was all about all the way to the first film. I had a wonderful time watching these films and I hope you had one magical time with the American Pie saga. I know I did. --This text refers to the DVD edition Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) Just a quick review , July 3, 2005 Reviewer: Genesis - See all my reviews American Wedding was the first Pie movie that I had seen (I wanted to buy Animal House, but it only came in a double pack with this movie, so I bought it anyway), and let me tell you...it's by FAR the best. One of the things I love so much about this movie, is that there is never a dull moment. It hooked me from the opening music, to the nostalgic conclusion. It really showcases Seann William Scott's talent, and after viewing the first two movies, I just can't understand why they were so succesful without all that Stifler action. Another plus (which many think of as a bad thing) is the fact that characters such as Vicky, Nadia, and Oz are gone. That really made the movie for me. I just didn't like those characters, and I thought they brought the first to Pie's down. They're just so boring, and ditzy, and, honestly, repulsive. I barely got through American Pie, and American Pie II. This is a fabulous movie, and you had better buy it, because you'll be sorry if you don't. --This text refers to the DVD edition Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) See all 176 customer reviews... Customers interested in this film were also interested in these films: Wedding Crashers Theatrical Release ~ Owen Wilson Fantastic Four Theatrical Release ~ Ioan Gruffudd War of the Worlds Theatrical Release ~ Tom Cruise The Dukes of Hazzard Theatrical Release ~ Johnny Knoxville Customers who bought DVDs directed by Jesse Dylan also bought DVDs by these directors: Quentin Tarantino Todd Phillips Nancy Meyers Danny Devito Catherine Hardwicke Explore similar directors So You'd Like To... Own the Best DVD Collection.....EVER! Part 1 :by bama007guy , Amateur Movie and TV Critic check out my favorite films :by George Zsebe , Space pirate Watch a crazy movie marathon :by Christopher Richter , Strek............. Listmania! My Favorite Comedies :A list by Marc Wallace , Movie Buff film's rule :A list by boywondermillion , Student comedies worth watching over and over :A list by cupcake69 , college student Browse for DVD in: DVD > Studio Specials > Universal Studios Home Entertainment > All Universal Studios Titles DVD > Studio Specials > Universal Studios Home Entertainment > Comedy DVD > Genres > Comedy > General • I have seen this DVD,and I want to review it. • E-mail a friend about this item . • Write a So You'd Like to... guide . • Check Purchase Circles . For more information about "American Wedding," visit the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) Suggestion Box Your comments can help make our site better for everyone. 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Visit http://PerfumeBottles.biz for a vast selection of unique perfume bottles from around the world. Our newest store is http://VasesAndBowls.com . California Vases and Bowls offers collectible bowls and vases which make unique gifts for Christmas presents, mother's day, anniversary gifts, and birthday presents. Important Passover Facts Passover (Pesach in Hebrew) is the oldest continuously celebrated Jewish festival. The rabbis developed the ritual of the seder based on passages from the Torah. The Torah is made up of the first five books of the Hebrew Bible. The Hebrew word seder means order. The sedar is traditionally celebrated in the home. Haggadah is a book that contains the entire service used for the Passover seder. The central message for Jews in the Haggadah is that God rescued the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. In the Haggadah, the name of Moses is mentioned only once. On very sedar table there is a symbolic fifth cup of wine called the "Cup for Elijah." There is a teaching that the Prophet Elijah will answer Jewish legal questions that the ancient rabbis could not resolve. One of these questions was whether we drink four or five cups of wine or grape juice at the seder. There is also a seder plate which holds the six symbolic foods for passover. Three pieces of matzah are placed in the middle of the table on a matzah tray. One piece of matzah is hidden in the home for children to seek out. It is called the Afikomen. Usually a prize is given to the child who finds it first. Passover is celebrated every Spring as a family dinner and service. The traditional items used are a seder plate and matzah tray. It is the most important Jewish holiday celebrated each year. We offer unique judaica gifts for celebrating all the Jewish holidays. Browse through this judaica gift store, for the best in jewish gifts, jewish decorations, judaica jewelry, and jewish toys. Hamakor means the source. If you want judaica for your jewish holidays, we have judaica and jewish gifts. For the jewish holiday of Chanukah (also spelled as Hanukkah, Hannukah, Channukah, and Hanukah), we have menorahs and dreidels. Menorah is also spelled menora, so menorahs would be menoras. Dreidels is also spelled draydels or dradels, so dreidel would be draydel or dradel. A jewish menorah holds candles - it is a candle holder for jewish candles. Or, a jewish menora is a candle holder that holds jewish candles. The jewish holiday of hannukah (also spelled as hanukkah, chanukah, channukah, and hanukah) usually has a Star of David. The jewish holiday of hanukah (also spelled as hanukkah, chanukah, channukah, and hannukah) is commonly called the Festival of Lights. We sell judaica toys in our jewish gifts store, including jewish sand art and jewish stained glass. These judaica childrens toys make great chanukah, or hannukah gifts. These judaica kids toys make great hanukkah gifts and the children's toys are used for all jewish holidays. We offer many judaica gifts for the jewish holiday of Shabbat, also spelled Shabbath or Sabbath. There are shabbat candlestick holders and shabbat candles. Or, there are shabbath candlestick holders and shabbath candles. Or, you can say there are sabbath candlestick holders and sabbath candles, depending on how you spell shabbat (or shabbath or sabbath). For your bar mitzvah boy or bat mitzvah girl, we have a bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs section in our judaica gifts store. There are bar mitzvah bears and bat mitzvah bears. There are also bar mitzvah picture frames for bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvah picture frames for bat mitzvahs in our judaica gifts store. This jewish gift store is for bar mitzvah boys or bat mitzvah girls. And, for their keepsakes, we have bar mitzvah albums and bat mitzvah albums. You can search for bar bat mitzvah or bat bar mitzvah as a search string. Or, they might also try bar bat mitzvahs or bat bar mitzvahs. For the jewish holiday of Passover, or Pesach, we have seder plates. Seder is also spelled sedar, so seder plates would be sedar plates. Similarly, seder plate would be sedar plate. The Passover, or Pesach, jewish holiday also needs lots of candlesticks and candles, which are for sale in our judaica gift store. And judaica sedar plates are needed for the passover, or pesach, jewish holiday. Our sedar plates are perfect for passover or pesach. We have a matzoh tray, or matza tray for your jewish matzohs or jewish matzas. Matzohs are used during Passover, or Pesach, and sit on top of sedar plates, or seder plates. The Matzohs are hidden and your jewish children will try to find the matzohs that sat on the sedar plates. Passover and Pesach are fun jewish holidays for judaica kids. We have lots of fine judaica jewelry, or israeli jewelry at our judaica gift store. The are jewish pendants and other judaica jewelry. Our religious jewelry is only jewish jewelry or judaica jewelery, which is the misspelling of jewelry. And jewelry is often misspelled as jewelery. Jewish jewelery should be spelled jewish jewelry. Judaica jewelry is jewish art and jewish art is also known as judaica jewelery, or jewelry. For jewish weddings, we have jewish wedding presents. There is a jewish wedding picture frame, a jewish wedding bear couple, and a judaica wedding glass pillow. There is also a jewish bride and jewish groom platter. The jewish wedding gifts include wedding decorations and wedding albums. The jewish wedding albums make great wedding presents for all jewish weddings. We offer judaica decorations, or jewish decorations at our judaica gift store. We have a bread tile and a Star of David. We have jewish decorations that make great gifts for your friends - for any jewish holiday, or judaica holidays. Some people will call our judaica gift store a jewish gift store. Others call our judaica gift store a hebrew store, or a hebrew gift store. Sometimes it is just called a judaica store and other times it's called a jewish store. Finally, judaica is also called judaic. So, judaica gift store would be judaic gift store and judaica gifts would be called judaic gifts. Our judaica toys would be judaic toys. And, any judaica toy would be called a judaic toy. Our educational toys are childrens toys that have a lot of educational value. These children's toys are used by kids during all jewish holidays. These educational kids toys offer lots of value for your jewish children and a unique gift for a bris. Thank you for visiting us at judaicagiftstore.com - a great judaica gift store! Enter your e-mail below to be notified of upcoming specials and sales! Contact Us | Company Info | Links | Site Map | Privacy Policy Gifts For Kids | Gifts For Grownups | Gifts For The Home Bar / Bat Mitzvahs | Dreidels / Menorahs | Passover, Wedding, etc. Perfume Bottles Gifts for Cat Lovers Vases and Bowls Shopping Cart & Design By: TodaysGraphics.Com

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