Top Ten Gifts

BlindKiss - The Top Ten Gifts for a Blindy This Christmas The Top Ten Gifts for a Blindy This Christmas by The Thinker 10. A cassette recording of a BBC Radio Four comedy series - any series will do as obviously the Blindie, who listens to Radio Four in every spare moment (and he has a lot of those!), will find it instantly recognisable. 9. An inflatable doll - everybody has their sexual needs and you should pity those who are unable to satisfy them in the normal way.Note: This gift is applicable to males only as female Blindies are sweet, innocent, virginal creatures who have never even had an impure thought. 8. A bottle of wine - ensure that the bottle is an unusual shape and the alcohol percentage is low as the average Blindie has poor balance and you would not want to be saddled with a personal injury legal suit for 2003. 7. A large box of chocolates - a useful gift during the protracted and monotonous periods of Radio Four listening. 6. Driving lessons - this is for the Blindie that you really don't like and an absolutely fantastic way to rub it in. Note: ensure that the cost of the lessons is refundable prior to purchase otherwise this may be a rather expensive insult. 5. Pot pourri - do not worry that this gift may offend as Blindies have little or no concern for personal or domestic hygiene but they do love a good smell. 4. Any video where a blind person regains his sight (the inclusion of a love interest is preferable) - this may help to perk up your depressive Blindie over the festive season and make them a bit less annoying around the house. Don't buy this gift if you are expecting videos yourself as they may monopolise the video recorder for weeks. 3. Well known pieces of classical music (cassette not CD for safety reasons) - Blindies are not concerned with popular music, culture or society but a good classical recording will always hit the spot. 2. Silk underwear (generally for the girls only) - A well received gift which you can spend little time choosing as it will never be seen by anyone. 1. A clay model of your own head - this gift is perhaps more for your own benefit because it should ensure that, should the Blindie get the well known urge to feel other peoples faces, they won't start with yours! You can email The Thinker if you have anything to say about this article, or anything else! Take me back to the Christmas articles page

Birthday Gift

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