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My Word's Worth - choosing gifts for women My Word's Worth: a weekly column by Marylaine Block vol. 3 #21, November 21, 1997 ADVICE FOR DESPERATE MEN The XTC song "The World's Full of Angry Young Men" is running through my head, but the words attached to the music are "The mall's full of desperate men." As it gets closer to Christmas, the population of the mall starts changing. Early on women and teenagers predominate, but over time, there are more and more lost-looking men with that deer-caught-in-the-headlights inward-looking stare--the natural prey of eager shopkeepers who know they can sell these men absolutely anything. The problem is, of course, that when the world's tasks got divvied up by genders, women got to be the gift-givers. By and large this works out quite nicely -- at least until men need to find gifts for women. At this point, many of you are utterly clueless. You sense that whatever you give is freighted with symbolic meaning, but you have no idea what that meaning IS. You strongly suspect this is one of those little tests women put men through that you can't possibly win -- give us nothing at all, and be forever written off as insensitive dolts, or give us the wrong things and be forever written off as insensitive dolts. But we're not actually all THAT hard to please. Here are a few hints. Part of the symbolic value is that you remembered at all. So even if you screw up and select something fairly hopeless (crotchless panties are generally a mistake), we WILL give you credit for trying. After all, we have years of practice thanking little boys who give us footballs for our birthdays -- we understand that he thinks this is the finest gift anyone could ever receive. The malls are trying to sell you stuff for generic females, jewelry and perfume and nice-smelling expensive soaps and moisturizers and such, but she is NOT generic. She is a specific person with specific tastes that, yes, you should have noticed by now (and if you haven't, start looking at her closely). Don't buy earrings for her if you can't remember seeing her wearing earrings. If she does, does she like discreet little buttons, or splashy dangling ones? Show her that you pay attention to her unique interests and preferences. For example, my only real concession to feminine stuff is pretty scarves, fastened with a cat pin; anyone who gave me either a scarf or a cat pin would know that the gift will be appreciated on two levels: I'll wear it and enjoy it, and I'll be pleased that you paid attention to what I like. A gift should also indicate that you pay attention to what she says, or cares about. If she's a save-the-whales sort of person, a little gold whale charm on a chain would be a delightful present. If she couldn't stop looking at the Degas ballerina in the art museum, check out the art museum gift shop for an inexpensive print, or even Degas notecards. Did she cry her way through The Little Mermaid ? You could get her a video of it. Is she never quite warm enough? How about a pretty crocheted shawl to drape around her shoulders? Does she adore Andrew Lloyd Webber? There must be a production of his playing somewhere that you can take her to. A gift doesn't need to be expensive if it conveys the basic message, "I know who you are and I love that in you." Avoid vacuum cleaners and toaster-ovens and sewing machines, no matter how much she may actually need one. What we want is permission to stop being efficient and hardworking for a while and simply feel treasured. (Even the most competent women want to feel protected and taken care of by their menfolk.) If you're a man who understands what clothes look good on her, and you know what size she wears, you can buy her a great outfit. The implied message is "You're a damn good-looking woman, and I love to see you looking well-turned out." Of course, if, like my son, you think an orange shirt with red shorts is a nifty combination, you should avoid this route. One of the nicest gifts is your time. Arrange for someone else to take care of the kids, and take her off somewhere where you can pay uninterrupted attention to her, and she to you. There aren't enough hours in the day for us to do our work, take care of the kids, take care of our own needs, and still keep a relationship fresh. Give her time off from responsibilities and routine, and use the time to renew the romance. And whatever else you give her, add the gift of words. Tell her why you chose it specially for her. You wouldn't believe what a sucker we are for words like "This was so elegant it made me think of you," or "It reminded me of the music we danced to on our first date." If you could live your life again and you'd still fall in love with her, tell her that. Better yet, tell her that in writing. There's a reason we keep old love letters and mementos -- it's so we can read them over and over again when times are tough, and we're not getting through to each other, and we're trying to remember why it was we wanted the relationship to keep going. So go ahead, guys. Venture out into the cold and brave the alien territory of the shopping malls and exquisite little boutiques. All you have to do is remember who she is and what you love about her and what she cares about (besides you). Remember: Earth girls are easy. You get points for trying. And with these helpful hints in mind, you might pass the test this time around. Heck, you might even get an A. My Word's Worth Archive Current column Marylaine.com/ home to all my other writing NOTE: My thinking is always a work in progress. You could mentally insert all my columns in between these two sentences: "This is something I've been thinking about," and "Does this make any sense to you?" I welcome your thoughts. Please send your comments about these columns to: marylaine at netexpress.net. Since I've written a lot of these, some of them many years ago, help me out by telling me which column you're referring to. I'll write columns here whenever I really want to share an idea with you and can find time to write them . If you want to be notified when a new one is up, send me an e-mail and include "My Word's Worth" in the subject line.
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Groomsmen Gift Ideas - FindGift.com Personalize FindGift.com! -- Login | Sign Up | List of Services Gift Ideas Gift Registry Gift Shops Gift Bookmarks Home | Help keyword search Gift Giving Made Easy! A free service dedicated to helping you find creative gift ideas! Home Categories Bridal Party Groomsmen Refine Search for Bridal Party Gift Ideas Groomsmen Always Friends Barware Cigar Theme Golf Theme Office Theme Weird & Wacky Any Price $0 - $10 $11 - $25 $26 - $50 $51 - $100 $101 - $200 $200+ Related Links Sign Up for our FREE Bridal Registry! Wedding Gift Ideas Use our Gift Wizard to customize your gift search Use our Gift Finder to find gift ideas customized to the likes/dislikes of the recipient. Wedding Party Gifts Take care of the wedding party! Unique gifts, free shipping www.fromthegroom.com Custom Bridal Party Gifts Personalized gifts for groomsmen, bridesmaids & more. Top quality! www.Wedding-Presents.com Viewing 1 - 10 of 831 gift ideas found Personalized Playing Card Gift Set from Things Remembered ($19.95) With poker being all the rage this gift is a sure thing. It features two decks of cards and an etch lined storage case that's engraveable for a special message. Limited time offer! Buy any gift and get the 2nd gift, of equal or lesser value, at 50% off! Questions? Contact Things Remembered . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Personalized Tavern Beer Glasses from Spilsbury ($49.95) These personalized beer glasses make the perfect thirst-quenching gift! Set of four 16-oz. glasses are colorfully screen-printed with "Welcome to [your name]s Tavern. Good Friends Great Buzz." Dishwasher safe. Buy any 3 or more Jigsaw Puzzles and save $3 on each. Questions? Contact Spilsbury . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Personalized Scoreboard Print from GroomsOnline Gifts ($29.95) It is possible for any fan to make it appear as if his or her NAME and MESSAGE has just been flashed on their favorite team's electronic scoreboard. NFL, MLB, NASCAR, and Golf College Teams. Size: 11x14 inches. Free Engraving on all items in our store. PLUS, Free shipping on purchases over $200! Questions? Contact GroomsOnline Gifts . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Groomsmen Leather Box from FromTheGroom.com ($45.00) The genuine cowhide box has all the right compartments for a gentleman's accessories. On the right, the box holds up to 12 cufflinks or rings, and the left side can be used for watches, keys, etc. Free shipping Questions? Contact FromTheGroom.com . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Best Man or Groomsmen Thank You Wedding Gift from PoetryGift.com ($29.99) Unique wedding keepsake for the groom's best man, groomsmen and ushers. Poem is personalized with names, wedding date and personal message from groom. Optional photo area will hold a wedding photo. Free shipping available FREE SHIPPING available for any order. Special 10% discount by entering coupon code - poetrygift - on order form Questions? Contact PoetryGift.com . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Personalized Pub/Tavern Sign from Simply Sublime ($45.95) A fun way to personalize your rec room, bar, or personal getaway spot. Our 12"x18" tavern sign makes a great gift for Fathers day, perfect for groomsmen gifts, or for that hard to buy for person in your life. Personalize any of the text! No extra charge per letter. Christmas Delivery Deadline: December 1st Questions? Contact Simply Sublime . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Beer Quote Pilsner from EverAfterStore.com ($11.95) The ultimate guy gift. 23 oz of pure fun. Great Father's Day gift. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin. Four different beer pilsners. Buy one or get all four. Enter Promo Code "freeship" in shopping cart for up to $10 in free shipping when the total order is $49 or more. Questions? Contact EverAfterStore.com . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] A Real Share of Playboy Stock from GiveAshare.com ($51.00) Wow them with this novel Groomsmen or Anniversary gift. True single share ownership entitles shareholder to declared dividends, annual reports... Framed with engraved personalized plaque (your words). Hef's printed signature. Make An Impression with this novel gift! Just about any stock. 2-part delivery orders ship in 4 business days or less. Questions? Contact GiveAshare.com . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Amazing Micro-brew Beer of the Month Club from Amazing Clubs ($27.95) Enjoy 12 bottles of premium micro-brews delivered every month from award-winning breweries nationwide. Month-to-Month, 3, 6, and 12-month memberships start at $27.95 per month with Free Shipping and instant gift messages. Free Shipping Today! Questions? Contact Amazing Clubs . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Groomsmen Steak Brander from FromTheGroom.com ($26.00) Original Groomsmen Gift! This terrific small branding iron is perfect to "personalize" your steaks or boards. Characters are 1 1/2" high and made of 1/4" sq. iron. The iron is placed on a 10" long handle. Free shipping Questions? Contact FromTheGroom.com . Add to Gift Bookmarks Add to Registry [ More Gifts from this store ] [ People Who Liked This Gift Also Liked ] [ Report Error ] Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | viewing 1 - 10 of 831 gift ideas found Bosses Day Oct 16, 2005 24 Shopping Days Left Bosses Day Gift Ideas Sweetest Day Oct 15 Halloween Oct 31 More Holidays Seasonal Gifts Wedding Gift Ideas Anniversary Gift Ideas Autumn Theme See this month's Top 20 Gift Ideas Gift Helpers » Anniversary Gifts » Flower Meanings » Monthly Flowers » Monthly Birthstones » Signs of the Zodiac » Additional Resources FindGift.com Newsletter Sign up to receive seasonal and unique gift ideas via email. 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