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Berkeley Parents Network: Gifts for Weddings and Wedding Showers Berkeley Parents Network Home Members Post a Msg Reviews Advice Join BPN Help/FAQ What's New Search Gifts for Weddings and Wedding Showers Berkeley Parents Network Advice Holidays and Special Events Weddings Gifts Wedding Gift Suggestions What to give as a shower gift Wedding Gift Suggestions Help! I have a good friend getting married in TWO weeks and I need to find her a great wedding gift. Am thinking of a bread-making machine. Does anyone know of a good brand as well as a store that carries them? I bought one once from Bed and Bath (under $70!) but they don't seem to carry them anymore. Thanks! Naomi Recommendations for bread machines: http://parents.berkeley.edu/recommend/where2buy/breadmachine.html I can't provide advice about the breadmaking machine but would like to tell you that the one wedding gift we have found most useful over the years was a pair of binoculars (ours are Baush and Lomb and sport-size, not clunky with excellent optics). We've used them a lot at sporting events(baseball/football games) and on hikes. In recent years they have come in handy on walks with children, bird/animal watching at the house, at the beach, etc. By far we have used them more than the relish dishes, fine china or other various and sundry machines received(with possible exception of the rice cooker which we use a lot.) As you consider a gift for you friend think about the things they enjoy doing together--one friend of mine registered for camping gear. The happy couple received tent, "Sunshower" portable water bag/with shower attachment, camp stove and one of those small gas Weber barbeques (about $60) which doesn't require the charcoal and noxious lighter fluid, can be used at a moments notice, is also portable! Hope this helps...Good luck! Mary Have you considered giving your friend a wedding commemorative plate? As a "hobbyist" ceramic painter, I have done several of these for friends who have gotten married, and they love them. Jessica Abbott, who owns Brushstrokes Studio (a paint-it-yourself studio) in N. Berkeley (510-528-1360), will paint one for you if you don't feel confident enough to do one on your own (I think she charges about $75), and she can do just about any style you want. (She has some samples on the wall of the studio if you'd like to take a look.) Jessica will put the name of the couple and the wedding date on the plate for you, but I have also seen people put special messages on them. I think a handmade gift is wonderful, and your friend could enjoy it for years to come. Sarah Our favorite wedding gift (which we first received, and have given several times since) is a well-stocked picnic basket. Shops like Pier 1 and Cost Plus sell all sorts of baskets which you can fill with any number of goodies -- place settings, of course, but also acrylic wine glasses, a jelly jar with a votive inside, a checkered blanket or tablecloth, a CD of romantic or classical music, a bottle of champagne, cheeses, crackers, dried fruits... Especially if the couple are close friends, I prefer something creative and personal like this over picking from a registry. Loralee I recently remarried, and my husband and I had both been running householdsfor a while, so we weren't "starting from scratch" and already had mostof the basics. Here are some weddinggifts that we really liked and still enjoy after 3 years:a beautiful "throw" for the sofa, a serving platter forThanksgiving dinners, dinner for 2 at Bay Wolf restaurant, crystal wine glasses. What to give as a shower gift August 2003 I've been invited to a bridal shower and am lost as to what togive. I've looked on the web site which has recommended weddinggifts, but those are more for the couple, as opposed to thebride. In fact I've never been to a bridal shower before andalmost wonder if we're supposed to give ''racy'' gifts such aslingere -- I don't know the bride that well and don't feelcomfortable doing this. Are there other traditional orappropriate gifts to give at this occasion?Bobbie When in doubt, bath & body stuff from Body Time or the Body Shop is always a great gift. Another idea; a gift certificate to a nice restaurant for the happy couple (most places sell them). anon I received several (mostly white) pieces of lingerie at my engagement party several years ago- nothing too racy as they were gifts from my parents' friends. I had 2 showers- one with my future mother-in-law's friends and a co-ed one with our friends. At both of these showers, the gifts were not personal for the bride, but were mostly things we had registered for.Susan My sister threw me a surprise bridal shower and I got lots of fun racey (and some obscene)lingerie. One of my favorite gifts, however, was a set of 3 beautiful silk covered padded hangers - something I would never buy for myself, but I have enjoyed for almost 15 (!) years. I have also seen pretty soaps, skin creams and other ''pamper yourself'' gifts that everyone likes go over very well.showered I think it's fine to buy something off the registry for the bride. At my shower, I was up to my ears in lingerie that I only wore on the honeymoon, so I much appreciated the more useful, less racy gifts. Or if you want to get something just for the bride, you could get something not quite as sexy as lingerie, like a cozy but cute bathrobe or pajamas. Good luck! First, check the invitation. Most showers have ''themes'' to which the gifts ideally will relate (for example, ''travel'' or ''kitchen''). You may even have been ''assigned'' a letter of the alphabet with which the name of your gift should start or a time of day that your gift would be used. Second, are you sure this is a shower for the bride only, or is it for the couple? Among my friends, ''co-ed'' showers are now the norm, and typical gifts include books, movies, games, wine, and tools, along with the more traditional dishes and towels. Finally, remember that even though things like mixing bowls and picture frames are for the couple rather than for just the bride, they are normal bridal shower gifts because traditionally housekeeping, decorating and entertaining were the province of women only. Brides who are traditionally minded enough that their friends give them girls-only showers don't mind the implications of receiving a frying pan as a bridal shower gift, and usually prefer traditional housewares-type gifts. Lingerie is not the expected gift unless the shower has a stated theme of lingerie or ''personal'' items (which could also include bath products and the like). Something relatively inexpensive from the couple's registry -- kitchen utensils, napkin rings, casual candlesticks -- is appropriate. More creative possibilities exist, but in the absence of a theme and given than you don't actually know the bride very well, that's what I would suggest giving.Holly I am of the mind that the best gifts for brides-to-be are ones that a)encourage stress reduction and/or b) celebrate the fact that she is still an autonomous person who will bring her best to a marriage when she can maintain a clear sense of her own identity. Okay, so what does that look like in gift form? What I would have appreciated is a gift certificate for a massage or facial and/or a book on personal finance geared toward women, married or no. I don't know the titles of any off hand, but I know there are some out there. signed,not all that comfy in lingerie anyway Hi Bobbie.I like to give gifts to the bride that will benefit both bride and groom since this is a way of respecting their new union together. Also, men don't have these type of parties, so it's kind of sad if the guys don't get any gifts at all. You could give lingere if it is tasteful, and not trashy (and this will benefit the groom as well as the bride.) The best kind of gifts I think are for the home, particularly nice gifts they can use and show off when entertaining, and tell their friends that you were the one with such nice taste that gave them such and such.Hope this helps.Best Regards!Tiffany I have been to countless bridal showers (including my own), and it seems to me that just about anything goes. Some people stick to gifts from the wedding registry. Others do give lingerie, ''racy'' and not. But I think the nicest gifts are ones that are personal to the bride-to-be: candles, bath lotions and potions, gift certificates for a facial or massage, photo albums, camping gear, books--you name it. The only thing I'd steer clear of is giving cash! At the most recent bridal shower I attended, I gave the bride-to-be a gift certificate to a local bookstore; she is an avid reader and I knew she'd appreciate the chance to buy books for her beach-vacation honeymoon. Have fun and don't stress too much about it.once a blushing bride, now a tired mom how about bed & breakfast trays ($12 at Target) and some of your favorite breakfast recipes (breads, smoothies, etc.). Ask the hostess where the bride is registered. If she is registered, she hasvery good idea of what she wants for a gift and I think you should get her agift from her list, even if her tastes don't reflect yours. If she is notregistered, then you may want to get her a massage certificate. I know thatwhen I was a bride, I would have loved that! Lisa Some brides want lingerie as gifts, but don't get any if you're not comfortable with it! Bridal shower gifts are often more modest versions of wedding gifts. You could find out where the couple is registered from whomever is hosting the shower and choose something in your price range. If she's not registered or everything is out of your price range, simple home items -- think hostess gift -- are good bets. Picture frames are good shower gifts. If you want to get something just for the bride, you could get aromatherapy bath items since planning and preparing for a wedding is stressful though joyous, and I think everyone could use some pampering.-been to all types of bridal showers If the bride is registered, buy her something from the registery so you know you're getting her something the couple absolutely wants. It's tough to buy lingerie unless you really know her (size wise and raciness factored in!) Otherwise, I have gotten gift certificates for a massage, or any sort of spa treatment (manicure, pedicure, facial etc) because these are things anyone LOVES to receive. It also a great way to fit in time for themselves before their 'big' day! You can try Claremont, Nordstrom, LaBelle. If the cost is too much for a package, just give her a gift certificate that she can supplement; I'm sure she'll love/appreciate it. eileen Hi-Buy something that she will enjoy over the honeymoon. My hubby and I had a destintation wedding in Maui and one of my girlfriends bought me a nifty Hawaiian purse full of fun stuff: designer sunblock, sunglasses, evian spritz water, cheesy magzines, lip blam, scarf, aloe vera, etc. It was completely unique and I used everything. I am a bit of a penny-pincher so it was fun to get ''girlie'' stuff. :) Deniene Unless it's a themed shower, I typically give one of threepresents.... A ''breakfast'' basket... Muffin tins, a breakfast cookbook andmaybe a coffee pot Christmas Ornaments (obviously, for Christians) Baking trays, cookie cutters and a rolling pin. I sometimesinclude a good recipe for cookies. None of these are fabulously expensive, and they are alwayshappily received. anon I would not assume that the bride wants anything ''racy''...plus that's too intimate of an item. I would suggest PJ's from Macy's by ''French Jenny''. They're cute but not frompy. Also, http://www.flowerslippers.com/ sell super cute slippers that my attendants loved!!wfp The bride is almost certainly registered somewhere and the person who is organizing the shower should know where. I think the most traditional gifts are the kitchenware/cooking ones --the shower organizer should be able to point you in the direction of the gifts the bride would most welcomeanon I recently discovered what I think is a good bridal shower gift: cookbooks. I've been semi-seriously into cooking for 20+ years, and if there's one thing I know it's a good cookbook! FYI, my current favorites are ''The Best Recipe'' by the staff of Cooks' Ilustrated magazine, and the Bruce Aidells & Denis Kelly book on meat (I think it's something like ''The Complete Guide to Meat''). Both are really outstanding. The Cooks Illustrated folks take a scientific approach to recipe development: they read as many recipes as they can find, extract what seem to be the key variables, then experiment until they get something they think is the best. Aidells and Kelly not only give delicious recipes, but their stories of travels far and wide searching for great meals are lots of fun to read. Makes me almost feel sorry for vegetarians!Kathy She may have already registered for her wedding find out where and buy something off the registery- that way you know it's soemthing she wants. Or go for something simple like a nice leatherbound photo album for the wedding or shower. Film for the honeymoon. One fun thing to do is to make a bridal survival basket: you can keep it high brow or make it funny- it can include things you always need at the wedding- bobby pins, safety pins, extra pair of hose, hair spray, clear nail polish, lotion, aspirin, slippers for when those wedding shoes that were oh so cute don't feel so cute anymore, etc you get the picture. Just some thoughts. Have fun.Juliette As a recent bride, I loved getting gift certificates to local spas, for facials and manicures, etc. I think that even if the bride in question normally doesn't do these things, the first time is always fun! I was never into this, but once I did it, I understood why so many women love it. You can also get gift certificates to hot tub/sauna places (the one in Albany is nice) - this is something the couple can share. I also enjoyed getting gift certificates to nice restaurants. The memories from these occasions last as long, if not longer than, as any other ''tangible'' gift.anon Cookbooks are always welcome, as some are coffee table books in addition to being useful tools. I have really enjoyed the books by Nigella Lawson (Nigella Bites, Forever Summer, and How to Be a Domestic Goddess) as they are often doable, and accompanied by intersting stories about the food. Also books by Patricia Wells. I recently went to a bridal shower where the theme was ''Simplicity'' and asked us to bring the single most useful kitchen or other tool we had in our kitchen, along with a simple recipe. A NYT article proclaimed the 3 essentials of the kitchen as this: ''As the business of the vanity kitchen boomed, though, threesmall new tools - two tools and a mat, actually - werepicked up by cooks. You may own one or all of them: theMicroplane zester, the OXO vegetable peeler and the Silpatmat. None is particularly attractive. All are simple yetexceptional workhorses, and deserve to be regarded as newclassics of the modern kitchen - less flashy than theCuisinart, perhaps, but just as impossible to live without.Each has not only subtly and stealthily improved manycooks' lives, but changed what people cook as well. '' (June 4 NYT, A Hesser). Tongs, and an apple corer were also big hits at the bridal shower. I.e. useful, but perhaps esoteric items you would never buy for yourself. Email me if you'd like the full article. Good luck!ShahanaSimple but useful What you give at a shower can varry quite a bit. Some bridal showers have a theme and you buy gifts to go with the theme ie: lingere, kitchen, camping, etc. If it is a theme shower the hostess mentions that in the invitation. Otherwise, it depends on your relationship with the bride and your comfort level. Personally, I only have ever bought lingere for very close friends (room-mate, women I have known since childhood, if I had a sister... etc.) since size and style are hard to know for others. Other gift ideas: bubble bath/beads/lotions, candles and holders, hobby items (like cookie cutters and a jar if the bride or couple likes to bake). Cookbooks, kitchenware and linens are traditional gift items for a bridal shower. Also, you can purchase anything off the bridal registry for the shower as well. Rose Home | Reviews | Advice | Members | Post a Message Join BPN | Help | What's New | Search Please send questions and comments to Berkeley Parents Network . Last updated: Sep 14, 2003 © 1996-2005 Berkeley Parents Network The opinions and statements expressed on this website are those of parents who subscribe to the Berkeley Parents Network . Please see our Disclaimer for details.

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