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My Word's Worth - choosing gifts for women My Word's Worth: a weekly column by Marylaine Block vol. 3 #21, November 21, 1997 ADVICE FOR DESPERATE MEN The XTC song "The World's Full of Angry Young Men" is running through my head, but the words attached to the music are "The mall's full of desperate men." As it gets closer to Christmas, the population of the mall starts changing. Early on women and teenagers predominate, but over time, there are more and more lost-looking men with that deer-caught-in-the-headlights inward-looking stare--the natural prey of eager shopkeepers who know they can sell these men absolutely anything. The problem is, of course, that when the world's tasks got divvied up by genders, women got to be the gift-givers. By and large this works out quite nicely -- at least until men need to find gifts for women. At this point, many of you are utterly clueless. You sense that whatever you give is freighted with symbolic meaning, but you have no idea what that meaning IS. You strongly suspect this is one of those little tests women put men through that you can't possibly win -- give us nothing at all, and be forever written off as insensitive dolts, or give us the wrong things and be forever written off as insensitive dolts. But we're not actually all THAT hard to please. Here are a few hints. Part of the symbolic value is that you remembered at all. So even if you screw up and select something fairly hopeless (crotchless panties are generally a mistake), we WILL give you credit for trying. After all, we have years of practice thanking little boys who give us footballs for our birthdays -- we understand that he thinks this is the finest gift anyone could ever receive. The malls are trying to sell you stuff for generic females, jewelry and perfume and nice-smelling expensive soaps and moisturizers and such, but she is NOT generic. She is a specific person with specific tastes that, yes, you should have noticed by now (and if you haven't, start looking at her closely). Don't buy earrings for her if you can't remember seeing her wearing earrings. If she does, does she like discreet little buttons, or splashy dangling ones? Show her that you pay attention to her unique interests and preferences. For example, my only real concession to feminine stuff is pretty scarves, fastened with a cat pin; anyone who gave me either a scarf or a cat pin would know that the gift will be appreciated on two levels: I'll wear it and enjoy it, and I'll be pleased that you paid attention to what I like. A gift should also indicate that you pay attention to what she says, or cares about. If she's a save-the-whales sort of person, a little gold whale charm on a chain would be a delightful present. If she couldn't stop looking at the Degas ballerina in the art museum, check out the art museum gift shop for an inexpensive print, or even Degas notecards. Did she cry her way through The Little Mermaid ? You could get her a video of it. Is she never quite warm enough? How about a pretty crocheted shawl to drape around her shoulders? Does she adore Andrew Lloyd Webber? There must be a production of his playing somewhere that you can take her to. A gift doesn't need to be expensive if it conveys the basic message, "I know who you are and I love that in you." Avoid vacuum cleaners and toaster-ovens and sewing machines, no matter how much she may actually need one. What we want is permission to stop being efficient and hardworking for a while and simply feel treasured. (Even the most competent women want to feel protected and taken care of by their menfolk.) If you're a man who understands what clothes look good on her, and you know what size she wears, you can buy her a great outfit. The implied message is "You're a damn good-looking woman, and I love to see you looking well-turned out." Of course, if, like my son, you think an orange shirt with red shorts is a nifty combination, you should avoid this route. One of the nicest gifts is your time. Arrange for someone else to take care of the kids, and take her off somewhere where you can pay uninterrupted attention to her, and she to you. There aren't enough hours in the day for us to do our work, take care of the kids, take care of our own needs, and still keep a relationship fresh. Give her time off from responsibilities and routine, and use the time to renew the romance. And whatever else you give her, add the gift of words. Tell her why you chose it specially for her. You wouldn't believe what a sucker we are for words like "This was so elegant it made me think of you," or "It reminded me of the music we danced to on our first date." If you could live your life again and you'd still fall in love with her, tell her that. Better yet, tell her that in writing. There's a reason we keep old love letters and mementos -- it's so we can read them over and over again when times are tough, and we're not getting through to each other, and we're trying to remember why it was we wanted the relationship to keep going. So go ahead, guys. Venture out into the cold and brave the alien territory of the shopping malls and exquisite little boutiques. All you have to do is remember who she is and what you love about her and what she cares about (besides you). Remember: Earth girls are easy. You get points for trying. And with these helpful hints in mind, you might pass the test this time around. Heck, you might even get an A. My Word's Worth Archive Current column Marylaine.com/ home to all my other writing NOTE: My thinking is always a work in progress. You could mentally insert all my columns in between these two sentences: "This is something I've been thinking about," and "Does this make any sense to you?" I welcome your thoughts. Please send your comments about these columns to: marylaine at netexpress.net. Since I've written a lot of these, some of them many years ago, help me out by telling me which column you're referring to. I'll write columns here whenever I really want to share an idea with you and can find time to write them . If you want to be notified when a new one is up, send me an e-mail and include "My Word's Worth" in the subject line.

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(Toy) Availability: This item is currently not available. Create your own list! See the Best Lists Top 100 Listmania lists Search Listmania lists More about Katherine Related Listmania! Add your list GameCube Things Ya Gotta Have : A list by cheeseiscool, Sit-Around Guy GameCube Things You Gotta Have : A list by cheeseiscool, Sit-Around Guy Gamecube Games! : A list by landy, gamecube fan The Best, Must-Own Gamecube Games : A list by darkmorpha71, GCN Owner and Nintendo fanboy Add your list Related So You'd Like to... Create a guide Buy a Video Game System : A guide by mntwinsfannv, Game and Electronics Geek Build a Strong Gamecube Collection : A guide by goldentoaster, A person with good tastes get the best GameCube products : A guide by patamander11, Expert Nintendo Gamer Play Gamecube- and Do It Right! : A guide by llamapalooza87, Extreme Nintendo Fan get a good system with out spending to much money. : A guide by TWISTER, Gamerfreak Build A Great Gamecube Library : A guide by M. 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Women Gifts - Gifts BW gifts | gifts Resources | Add URL Wine Gifts & Baskets From the casual wine drinker to the serious enthusiast, we have a gift that will make them smile. Our selection includes premium wine, gourmet baskets, distinctive champagne sets & the very finest California and Northwest wines. Women Gifts Articles Gifts for Women When buying gifts for women remember they like to feel that others are thoughtful enough to take the time to select a gift that was selected just for them. The best gifts for women will enrich their lives by pampering them, making them feel sexy or a...( Continue Reading ) Women's History Gifts - for Yourself, for Others Ideas for buying women's history gifts for your friends and family -- or for yourself....( Continue Reading ) Gifts for Women Looking for Valentine's Day gifts for women? Here are five suggestions to give the perfect gift this Valentine's day for the woman in your life....( Continue Reading ) Women's History Gifts - Beyond Books Ideas for women's history gifts and crafts...( Continue Reading ) Top 5 Women's Gifts The top 5 Chinese gifts for women including handbags, bracelet, necklace, etc....( Continue Reading ) Women Gifts Directory Links breast cancer awareness gifts gag wedding gifts birthday gifts for a boyfriend gift baskets for delivery business holiday gifts celtic gifts gifts for newborn babies christmas gifts teens personalized mothers day gifts gifts for women gifts store great gifts in 30 minutes gifts that keep on giving harbor house gifts fathers day gifts ideas gifts to make at home chinese baby gifts high school graduation gifts fine executive gifts exclusive wood peripherals wedding gifts for mom 15 year anniversary gifts sixth anniversary gifts gifts for bride great graduation gifts 5th anniversary gifts great anniversary gifts gift baskets of utah illinois gift baskets inexpensive christmas gifts beneva flowers and gifts christmas gifts for the boss tradtional anniversary gifts best gifts for her gifts for a baby shower childrens gifts great gifts for teachers easy to make mothers day gifts simple christmas gifts new york gift baskets gifts and collectibles romantic gifts men house warming gifts carolina gift baskets online gifts store chocolate gift baskets Popular Search Terms: Gifts BW © 2004 Gifts BW All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. All Rights Reserved. This site is not related to Brajeshwar or Brajeshwar.com in anyway, shape or form

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