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My Word's Worth - choosing gifts for women My Word's Worth: a weekly column by Marylaine Block vol. 3 #21, November 21, 1997 ADVICE FOR DESPERATE MEN The XTC song "The World's Full of Angry Young Men" is running through my head, but the words attached to the music are "The mall's full of desperate men." As it gets closer to Christmas, the population of the mall starts changing. Early on women and teenagers predominate, but over time, there are more and more lost-looking men with that deer-caught-in-the-headlights inward-looking stare--the natural prey of eager shopkeepers who know they can sell these men absolutely anything. The problem is, of course, that when the world's tasks got divvied up by genders, women got to be the gift-givers. By and large this works out quite nicely -- at least until men need to find gifts for women. At this point, many of you are utterly clueless. You sense that whatever you give is freighted with symbolic meaning, but you have no idea what that meaning IS. You strongly suspect this is one of those little tests women put men through that you can't possibly win -- give us nothing at all, and be forever written off as insensitive dolts, or give us the wrong things and be forever written off as insensitive dolts. But we're not actually all THAT hard to please. Here are a few hints. Part of the symbolic value is that you remembered at all. So even if you screw up and select something fairly hopeless (crotchless panties are generally a mistake), we WILL give you credit for trying. After all, we have years of practice thanking little boys who give us footballs for our birthdays -- we understand that he thinks this is the finest gift anyone could ever receive. The malls are trying to sell you stuff for generic females, jewelry and perfume and nice-smelling expensive soaps and moisturizers and such, but she is NOT generic. She is a specific person with specific tastes that, yes, you should have noticed by now (and if you haven't, start looking at her closely). Don't buy earrings for her if you can't remember seeing her wearing earrings. If she does, does she like discreet little buttons, or splashy dangling ones? Show her that you pay attention to her unique interests and preferences. For example, my only real concession to feminine stuff is pretty scarves, fastened with a cat pin; anyone who gave me either a scarf or a cat pin would know that the gift will be appreciated on two levels: I'll wear it and enjoy it, and I'll be pleased that you paid attention to what I like. A gift should also indicate that you pay attention to what she says, or cares about. If she's a save-the-whales sort of person, a little gold whale charm on a chain would be a delightful present. If she couldn't stop looking at the Degas ballerina in the art museum, check out the art museum gift shop for an inexpensive print, or even Degas notecards. Did she cry her way through The Little Mermaid ? You could get her a video of it. Is she never quite warm enough? How about a pretty crocheted shawl to drape around her shoulders? Does she adore Andrew Lloyd Webber? There must be a production of his playing somewhere that you can take her to. A gift doesn't need to be expensive if it conveys the basic message, "I know who you are and I love that in you." Avoid vacuum cleaners and toaster-ovens and sewing machines, no matter how much she may actually need one. What we want is permission to stop being efficient and hardworking for a while and simply feel treasured. (Even the most competent women want to feel protected and taken care of by their menfolk.) If you're a man who understands what clothes look good on her, and you know what size she wears, you can buy her a great outfit. The implied message is "You're a damn good-looking woman, and I love to see you looking well-turned out." Of course, if, like my son, you think an orange shirt with red shorts is a nifty combination, you should avoid this route. One of the nicest gifts is your time. Arrange for someone else to take care of the kids, and take her off somewhere where you can pay uninterrupted attention to her, and she to you. There aren't enough hours in the day for us to do our work, take care of the kids, take care of our own needs, and still keep a relationship fresh. Give her time off from responsibilities and routine, and use the time to renew the romance. And whatever else you give her, add the gift of words. Tell her why you chose it specially for her. You wouldn't believe what a sucker we are for words like "This was so elegant it made me think of you," or "It reminded me of the music we danced to on our first date." If you could live your life again and you'd still fall in love with her, tell her that. Better yet, tell her that in writing. There's a reason we keep old love letters and mementos -- it's so we can read them over and over again when times are tough, and we're not getting through to each other, and we're trying to remember why it was we wanted the relationship to keep going. So go ahead, guys. Venture out into the cold and brave the alien territory of the shopping malls and exquisite little boutiques. All you have to do is remember who she is and what you love about her and what she cares about (besides you). Remember: Earth girls are easy. You get points for trying. And with these helpful hints in mind, you might pass the test this time around. Heck, you might even get an A. My Word's Worth Archive Current column Marylaine.com/ home to all my other writing NOTE: My thinking is always a work in progress. You could mentally insert all my columns in between these two sentences: "This is something I've been thinking about," and "Does this make any sense to you?" I welcome your thoughts. Please send your comments about these columns to: marylaine at netexpress.net. Since I've written a lot of these, some of them many years ago, help me out by telling me which column you're referring to. I'll write columns here whenever I really want to share an idea with you and can find time to write them . If you want to be notified when a new one is up, send me an e-mail and include "My Word's Worth" in the subject line.



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personalized gift,personalized plaque,housewarming gifts,personalized sign Home Signs -Plaque 1 Signs-Plaque 2 Signs-Plaque 3 Handpainted signs Woodburning Plaque designs Site Map Testimonials Links Exchange links Company history Contact us Privacy policy Return policy Shipping policy Payment Dog gift We specialized in the art of woodburning or handpainted personalized gift plaques and signs. Unique handcrafted personalized plaques, housewarming gifts, personalized sign, dog toy box, wall coat rack, boss gifts, key holder, welcome signs, address plaques, office gifts for all occasions worldwide. WELCOME TO ITEMSABOUT.COM Home page Boss gift Hit picture to enlarge Price depends on the amount and the size of the words and design. How would you like to have your own words published on a plaque? We have a wonderful selection to create a treasure all your own. Using your own poetry, phrases, affirmations or other collection of words, you can personalize your own plaque. You can personalize plaques for such occasions as Mother's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays, graduations, holidays, to congratulate at weddings or births or any other occasion. You could even create a plaque just to show that you care. We have several designs to choose from. Please take your time while browsing the components of our selections. We want you to create a piece that you will truly treasure. Housewarming gift $44.95 plus shipping Hit picture to enlarge Price depends on the amount and the size of the words and design. Design Your Own Custom handcrafted Sign or plaque. If you need help or an idea just click here or go to Plaque design button to your left. Pick a plaque shape, size and saying or quote. Depends on the amount of words, most 6" X 8" plaques are $18.95 plus shipping. Plaques and signs made to order, Just send your logo design, sizes and your personal scripture or quotes. 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Please feel free to e-mail or call me to discuss your ideas. anthony@itemsabout.com " Tel: (732) 787-5681 Dog toy box Hit picture to enlarge Extra Large $104.95 Regular $44.95 Price depends on the amount and the size of the words and design. . labrador retriever welcome sign Price $85.00 Plus shipping Price depends on the amount and the size of the words and design. Hit picture to enlarge Alaskan Malamute, American Stafford shire Terrier , Basset Hound, Beagle, Boston Terrier, Boxer, britany spaniel, bull terrier, bulldog, chihuaua, chow chow, cocker spaniel, collie, dachshund, dalmatian, doberman, german shepherd, golden retriever, great dane, greyhound, irish setter, labrador, lhasa apso, maltese, mongrel, pekingese, pointer, pomerainian, poodle, pug dog, rhodesian ridgeback, rotweiler, saint bernard, samoyed, schnauzer, scottie, shar pei, shih tzu, weimaraner, welsh corgis, west highland terrier, wire fox terrier, yorkshire terrier. Yes, We do large volume orders for Weddings, Christmas, Special Occasions. Contact Us For Price Quotes. Christmas Delivery Stock levels become depleted quickly during the Holiday buying season. If you found an item that you know you want, or is the perfect gift for that someone special, it is recommended you order now. The last day to order for delivery by Christmas is December 10. We will ship two day priority mail if necessary to get it to you on time. Orders received after December 10, can not be delivered on time. We ship world wide Bookmarks my site If you like this site tell a friend Thank you for visiting itemsabout.com We are a small family business specializing in handcrafted items.We are constantly adding new items for your shopping experience. Thank you for visiting. If you are paying through Paypal just hit the icon below and follow procedures. Mail US For More Information Contact: Anthony DiBenedetto 85 Hialeah Ave. Middletown. New Jersey 07748-1043 Tel: (732) 787-5681 Payment procedure We accept MasterCard and Visa through Paypal only, personal checks and money orders. Make check payable to: Anthony DiBenedetto 85 Hialeah Ave. Middletown. New Jersey 07748-1043 Home Signs -Plaque 1 Signs-Plaque 2 Signs-Plaque 3 Handpainted signs Woodburning Plaque designs Site Map Home Links Exchange links Company history Contact us Privacy policy Return policy Shipping policy Payment Dog gift



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